It's About Time
by rhygell
Summary: Yaoi. Contains episode spoilers. Juubei's thoughts on Kazuki (and a few other things as well.)
1. It's About Time

It's About Time 

* * *

**title:** It's About Time  
**genre:** angst/romance (as usual)  
**rating:** PG-13  
**pairings:** yaoi, yaoi, yaoi (Yep, I think that covered all the pairs that appeared, more or less, in this manuscript.)  
**warning:** Spoilers for a lot of episodes, which includes Ep. 13, 16, 18, 19 and 21. Especially Ep. 19. Self-betaed, so kick me (Okay, don't.)  
**disclaimers:** Get Backers, unfortunately, is not mine. The song is not mine, either. Please don't sue me, pretty please? No money's involved. The idea's mine, though, but if the ideas expressed here mirror your own ... well, you know what they say about great minds.  
**notes:** Is this sap? *blinkblink*  
Am I faithful to the series? I mean, I started writing this at the rerun of Get Backers but I know I missed a lot of things, omitted some (gomen, gomen nasai!) and surely added a whole lot more ... Ep. 19 is like a kick in the wherever ... and I happen to be a yaoi fan. I mean, what was I supposed to think with all those innuendos?! I just have to write this. And my Muse Ni-chan insisted. So there. (Kazuki-sama, daisuki!)  
Dedicated to Kazuki-sama, Juubei-san, my Muse Ni-chan, and all those other people who'll review, and support JxK/KxJ.  
Please review, minna-san! Feedback is my life. Sankyuu!  
  
**Thoughts and flashbacks are in italics.**

* * *

  
  
  
  
The dark-haired man stood up from his seat, overlooking the vast room full of computers, and jumped down, heading towards the exit.  
  
"Juubei," Makubex's voice was soft, understanding, accommodating. The brunette stopped walking. Shaded by dark lenses, Juubei's eyes flickered to the speaking boy.  
  
"You do understand that to protect my LENS, everything must go as I calculated." There was a pause, and he could almost predict what was coming. "For that to happen, you may have to fight our former leader, Raitei Amano Ginji." There was no pause in his typing, a horrendous sight to see; the long fingers swept across the keyboards with a steady, rapid clicks. "Or Ito no Kazuki."  
  
Juubei clenched his fists, but aside from that, no other emotion could be discerned from his body language. "Aah." He resumed walking.  
  
"It wouldn't be easy," Makubex continued. At his side, Sakura, Juubei's elder sister, sat unmoving; the eerie green glow of the screen bathed her, casting a shade of a sickly death. Her hands firmly clasped her shawl. "The Kakei Clan had been protectors of the Fuuchoin Clan for more than 500 years, correct? You came to Mugenjou together, if I recall."  
  
Another noncommittal "Aah." No confirmation was needed, though. His eyes were narrowed.  
  
No falter in the sound of the fingers typing. "Are you sure you could face him in battle?"  
  
"They are traitors." Not a lie, but not the whole truth, either. Juubei just had to do with that for now. "My loyalty is to you."  
  
Fudou Takuma smirked openly at him. A pair of deep purple eyes watched, calculating; Kagami seemed so full of himself, so pleased. Emishi did not say anything, but he went for the exit himself.  
  
Makubex allowed a small smile. A few moments passed. When neither spoke, Juubei continued walking towards the exit, the needles in his hands glimmering.  
  


It's about life,  
It's about fun

  
  
Juubei watched the battle with dispassionate eyes. The two Fuuchoin practitioners were wreaking havoc on the streets, but if Makubex's calculations were accurate ...  
  
A sudden silence, interrupted by the tinkle of a bell. A flashback of the fire, two small soot-covered figures running away in the night.  
  
_"Kitto ... kitto tsuyoku naru."_  
  
He shook his head, reprimanding himself with a low growl. It was no time to reminisce. Kazuki already had the fool Akame trapped in a tapestry of strings, in a shape of a spider's web. Interesting to see a weave as intricate as that be placed in a matter of seconds. The long-haired brunette was certainly a master in his arts ...  
  
Juubei balked at the path his thoughts were taking. He could not allow any emotion to rule over him now, albeit as simple as longing for a friend, acknowledgement of his lord and the desire to protect his most important thing, or something more complex that his heart could not articulate ...  
  
In a blink of an eye, he was standing behind Kazuki, holding his needles. The wounds were deep, but missed the vital points of his body. He didn't know if he was grateful for that; after all, he should be feeling quite the opposite.  
  
"Flying needles ... Juubei?"  
  
If anything, the tone infuriated him. How dare Kazuki use that tone, one with hidden meanings of regret and longing? This was not a meeting of friends, and yet the Fuuchoin master was glad to see him, and was hurt at the brusque welcome he presented ...  
  
With a single leap, Kazuki staggered towards a shop. Juubei followed, still arguing with himself, yet steeled to do what must be done.  
  
As soon as he stepped inside, strings whipped back and forth, and his vision clouded as particulates filled the air. The exposed flesh of his arms hurt. The shop burst into fire.  
  
"He chose to die in his own hands rather than in mine," he murmured. Was he relieved that his hands were clean of Kazuki's death? That shouldn't be the case ...  
  
_"I'm sorry ... I'm sorry, Kazuki. The Kakei Clan's power was not enough to protect you." The crying boy looked back at the flaming building, and he did his best to comfort him, even though he needed comforting himself. Smoke had stung his eyes, but that was not the reason for his tears. "Surely ... surely, I'll be strong. I promise you that ... so that I can protect the most important things ..."_  
  
He snapped out his memories. Makubex was attempting to contact him. "It happened as you calculated. I used Akame to masquerade as Kazuki ..." he retold the events impassively, face masked with cold indifference, with a concluding, "What's next?"  
  
"Bring the girl. She would be useful."  
  
He picked the unconscious female and without a backward glance, strode towards the trash facility. His head pounded with the memory of the first smile after a torrent of tears, the first lonely night spent in Mugenjou.  
  
_Why did you have to come back, Kazuki?_

I hate you, I love you  
I just can't remember to forget you  
Who are you, who needs you?  
You make me feel alive, I die, so high  
I'm crawling on the ground  
And I've found I can fly

  
  
"You former Volts members ... you still feel for the Raitei?"  
  
Juubei narrowed his eyes at the complacent blond man across him. Kagami Kyoji was from Babylon City, and yet he was following the plans of a boy from Lower Town. He couldn't be trusted, not at all, but there are some things you just have to put up with for a cause worth dying for. It didn't mean he had to enjoy it, though. Seeing the pursed lips of his older sister, he was sure that Sakura shared his sentiments.  
  
"Things are different, now."  
  
Not listening anymore, the brunette lapsed into a contemplative silence. The look in Kazuki's face when he realized that he, Kakei Juubei, was the one who had been attacking, sent pangs of guilt kicking at his guts. He had been so surprised, so hurt ...  
  
The platinum-haired boy was addressing him. Was there a smirk in Makubex's face? "Do you know why I had you to attack Ito no Kazuki?" Maybe yes, maybe no; he couldn't tell through the distorted reflection from the computer screen. He wasn't up to finding out; Kagami was, by far, too amused at their reactions, and he would not give him the satisfaction. "I wanted to know if you're loyal to me, Juubei."  
  
"I am," he answered promptly. "The Raitei might be our leader once, but ... They were the ones who abandoned us." Juubei ignored the glowing figures on the screens, the images of his former allies. He looked at Emishi. Like him, he was not one of the Four Kings, but instead, followed one of them. Could he, too, be thinking of abandoning Makubex and returning to Raitei? It was the Beast Master who had ties with the Bloody Joker, and he, too, had been forced to fight. He could not begin to fathom what was behind those cruel shaded eyes.  
  
He glared at Kagami, even as he followed him towards where they would intersect the retrieval experts. There was something antagonistic about the man that he couldn't quite put a finger on ...  
  
"Maybe Makubex wanted us to ... welcome them, Juubei." He gestured to the passage. "See?"  
  
The door fell into pieces, rubble of dust. A dark figure emerged, followed by ...  
  
"Ginji-kun?"  
  
"Juubei! O-hisashiburi desu, Juubei!"  
  
Ignoring his black-dressed companion completely, Amano Ginji ran to Juubei with outstretched arms (chibi-version), a welcoming gesture that set him on the edge of rage. How could they act as if nothing was wrong? How could they act as if it was in the past? He proceeded to attack the Raitei, and with every needle he threw, the guilt seemed to double, ravaging him.  
  
"Juubei?" Ginji seemed truly puzzled. "But Juubei! You are my friend, me and Kazuki and ..."  
  
"I finished Kazuki off," he snapped, managing not to flinch at the look of hurt on the innocent blond face. How different from Kazuki, yet how very much the same ...  
  
"Uso!" Electricity crackled. "Uso da! Tell me you're lying, Juubei! You couldn't have done that!"  
  
He couldn't have, but he had. It was a wedge in his heart, but he had to do it, for the future of everyone in Mugenjou.  
  
"I've changed," he growled. Sadly, he drew three needles in each hand. "And now, I'm going to finish you, too."  
  
Angry brown eyes stared at him. "No. No, you're not going to beat me, not while we're in Mugenjou."  
  
Juubei looked down at his needles in surprise. His needles, though it emotionally pained him, would have at least damaged the Raitei but ... The needles were turned into magnets. He dropped them, useless, on the floor.  
  
"You came back for money!" he spat out, clutching his chest. The electromagnetic field surrounding them suffocated him. "You're the Raitei, and you're here in Mugenjou, but you're here for money!"  
  
"I don't understand anything," Ginji admitted straightforwardly, without shame. "About IL, about what's happening, about anything. But I would continue the job, because I have pride in what Ban-chan and I do." He stepped closer; the breathing air was thick, he almost choked. "Move away." Closer, closer, and his body temperature escalated. Surprising that his skin wasn't smoking yet. "I said, move away!"  
  
Juubei stared desolately down his hands. Ito no Kazuki. Raitei Amano Ginji. His friends. why did it had to be this way?  
  
A slight rustle of clothes told him Kagami was near. He looked up from his seat on the floor. "You escaped."  
  
"And I see you're still alive." His smile did not quite reach his eyes. "Akabane Kuroudo ... that Dr. Jackal is certainly something." He glanced at Juubei. "And so, that was the Raitei ..."  
  
"When he was our leader," Juubei visualized the Raitei in his mind, Amano Ginji, the Savior. "There was no need for calculations. We just have to follow him, and we had no clear direction. But slowly ... we find the light."  
  
"Aah? Sou?"  
  
Kagami bowed his head, still smiling, starting to go back to where Makubex was.  
  
"Matte." He stopped, his earring gathering and reflecting light. "Do you know what you'll do?"  
  
The blond bastard shrugged. "Saa. How about you?"  
  
There was really no other choice; he had come too far to back out now.  
  
"I'll fight."  
  


One of these days it all comes together  
One of those days that goes on forever  
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever  
What's it all about?  
  


Dark blue eyes widened as he viewed the screen.  
  
_Kazuki ... so you're alive._  
  
He got mixed emotions at that. Kazuki, bandaged ... yet unharmed. He'd wager that Makubex would let them fight, again, and this time, it would be to the finish.  
  
He would face a more personal battle of his feelings and reasoning ... would he be able to win against someone he had sworn to protect with his life? Would he even want to win?  
  
_But he left. He scorned my promise. I don't have to protect him anymore ..._  
  
Kazuki would try to talk to him, in the chosen arena. He would want to know what happened, why it was happening, and would try to convolute his thoughts and emotions. Would he be able to remain deaf to the logic whispered by his heart, then? Was winning worthwhile, after all?  
  
He couldn't risk the exposure. He couldn't afford the failure, if it happened. It was not worth his life. The problem was, there was no other choice.  
  
_I said I'll fight, and I don't intend to back out now. I've done too much, sacrificed too much ... betrayed Kazuki too much._  
  
His eyes hardened with each thought. Seeming to sense his unstable mood, Sakura glanced at him. "Juubei."  
  
He shook his head slowly, aware at the eyes staring at him. Kagami was the most dangerous one of them all.  
  
"Just a few more minutes, Fudou," Makubex broke the silence to assure the almost frothing-at-the-mouth blond. That one was a madman. "You'll get your end of the bargain."  
  
Fudou licked his lips in anticipation.  
  
Juubei didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but he knew he'd better show no emotion, or else. Kagami was chuckling to himself quietly. In only a few minutes, he would be facing the worst nightmare of his life.  
  
_I don't have to like this ... but ... I'll fight ... even though I don't have to, Kazuki._  
  
His fervent wish was not to break down at the sound of that voice. Well, he had done it once. Why couldn't he do it again?  
  
Securing his facade he carefully kept, Juubei calmed his nerves for the fight. He needed all the preparation he could get.  
  


It's about life, it's about fun  
It's over before it has begun  
It's about you, it's about me  
It's about everything between and I say  
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue  
It's about time that I  
Make up my mind   
  


"Juubei .. why are you doing this?"  
  
"Don't get me wrong Kazuki."  
  
"Juubei ..."  
  
He was thankful for the lack of light. One of the reasons was because of the advantage it would give Emishi and him in the fight. He did not want to talk about the other, more immediate, reason. "This is not the Mugenjou that you knew."  
  
"Even one of the Shi Ten would fall under our hands."  
  
To attack in the dark. To fight someone with uneven odds, to your advantage. Juubei had fought in more honorable skirmishes, but this had to be done. Even if his enemy had once been his friend, and more.  
  
Now, Fuyuki Shidou had joined in the carnage. The odds were even, and yet, there was still another card to draw, still to their advantage. Those two might be stronger than he and Emishi, but they were unwilling to fight.  
  
As the battle arena changed, the two watched Emishi and Shidou. Juubei was fascinated with the good form the Beast Master was showing ... but he wasn't fighting back. Friendship. Would it be like that when the time comes? Would Kazuki just dodge all his attacks, pleading him to stop and rationalize?  
  
He looked down at his fist in surprise. Three glowing needles were held between his clenched fingers. He made them disappear without thought. The idea of attacking Kazuki while the man was entranced by the match between Shidou and Emishi did not even cross his mind.  
  
"Shidou!" Kazuki screamed in anguish. Behind the confines of the dark lenses, Juubei's eyes narrowed. He wasn't jealous at the attention (or the lack of it towards him), not at all. He tried to see past the dust and flames, to no avail.  
  
Suddenly, a shape emerged. It was the Beast Master ... and he was carrying an almost unconscious Senketsu no Joker. Would he take the liberty to do that when he had finally killed Kazuki? To kill the man he had sworn to protect ... to kill his friend with the technique he had used to defend him ... it was blasphemous.  
  
"I'm taking him to a doctor," Shidou called, looking worse for wear, but still standing.  
  
"Go to the South block and look for the Pharmacist Gen!" answered Kazuki, infinitely relieved.  
  
"If you go," Juubei said quietly, interrupting the two. "You'll lose time. You can't go back in again." He looked pointedly at Shidou, who wore an infuriating smile. The Beast Master knew about his relationship with Kazuki; who in Mugenjou hadn't? But that, and the conceding, mocking smirk was trivial. "And this is a different kind of virtual reality that Makubex created. Your body will be all right, but your mind will die, from the fall you'd take here. If you have even just 1% of doubt ..." he trailed off.  
  
"My ears hear that it's just a box," he replied cockily, and closing his eyes, he proceeded walking away. After a few steps, he disappeared from sight.  
  
"At least, Haruki Emishi managed to stall Fuyuki Shidou. That's enough, I guess." He stared at the oblivion where the two battered men went. "The Beast Master had changed."  
  
Kazuki whipped around to face him. "Why do you say so, Juubei?" He looked as if on the verge of crying.  
  
"He should have finished Emishi Haruki when he had the chance." It took all the training he did not to show any emotion -- at least, any true emotions. "It's stupid to spare your enemy because of something as foolish as friendship."  
  
"Is it?" Kazuki whispered softly, an exhalation of breath. "You're my best friend, Juubei. Do you consider our friendship foolish and stupid as well?"  
  
"That was in the past." Were his words as cutting as Kazuki's were to him? "All has changed, now. Did you expect nothing to change after you went away?"  
  
He was clearly hurting him, but he had to. There was no other way. "Even after I left Mugenjou," he continued, staring straight into Juubei's unflinching eyes. "I always thought about you. When you attacked me ... even though I knew you were about to kill me ... I still thought of you as my best friend. Because you are. You are my best friend. There hadn't been anyone else."  
  
"I never thought of you." Believing the lie wouldn't make it true. _You left me without even saying goodbye, and now you're telling me that you've always thought about me? That you missed me? You scorned my promise, Kazuki! Was that my worth to you? And now, now that you've come back, you tell me all that ... I feel betrayed, Kazuki. Betrayed and worthless._  
  
Juubei remained silent, impassive. After a while, he spoke. "Friendship is stupid and foolish."  
  
Kazuki's voice quivered, half with rage, and half with sobs. "You called a friendship stupid and foolish. You'll regret that .. Kakei Juubei."  
  
And hell broke out.  
  


It's simple, confusing, the truth is I'm winning but I'm losing  
And pulling and pushing, won't do me any good  
It could, it should  
I'm honest to myself that the truth is I lied 

  
  
"You changed your arms into steel," Kazuki acknowledged his actions. Even though it might be fatal, he took a moment to just stare at the captivating brown eyes. Why did they have to do this?  
  
"Book of Offense Number 27 and 1. A Sword of Stream. Clear Stream! Muddy Pool!"  
  
Juubei answered in like. He couldn't seem to avoid the strings, just as Kazuki couldn't avoid being wounded by the needles. They were even ... were they? If they were, that would mean he had to get the upper hand ... even at the cost of his life.  
  
"Whirlpool!"  
  
He felt as if whipped by thousands of strings. His whole body stung, but he recovered. "Poisonous Moth!"  
  
"Book of Offense Number 15 and 3. Shield Cocoon!" His needles were deflected harmlessly. They stood, wary, ready for more attacks.  
  
"So. We're even."  
  
If Kazuki was the Kagami-type, he would have laughed scornfully. "Even? Don't underestimate the Fuuchoin Ryu." With a dexterous gesture, strings appeared all around Juubei's body. "Even if you manage to get yourself out of the river and dry, drops of water remain." He made a pinching motion, and the strings pierced his body. As easy as playing Cat's Cradle. "A Sword of Stream. Shizuku!"  
  
Once again, Juubei was left without any choice.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Kazuki is facing an enemy," the Beast Master said by way of explanation.  
  
"Enemy?" Heaven shot a quizzical look at Shidou, who was carrying the still-unconscious Emishi.  
  
"Aah. His enemy is Kakei Juubei. He's a former Volts former."  
  
The blond agent waved it off airily. "It's okay, then," she concluded. "Kazuki-kun won't lose to an ex-Volts member, right?"  
  
"Chigau!" Shidou shook his head adamantly. Heaven stared at him, surprised. "Before there was Volts, Juubei was No.2 in Fuuga, Kazuki's own group. He was No.2, not because he couldn't defeat Kazuki, but because he wanted to protect him."  
  
"Protect?" If anything, Heaven looked more confused than before.  
  
"They were best friends before they went to Mugenjou."  
  
"Eh? Sou na! Why are they fighting, then?"  
  
Shidou shifted Emishi's weight on his shoulder before answering the distressed blonde agent. "I don't know. But what I do know is Juubei is the kind of man that would risk his life for his beliefs." He shot a narrowed glance at the six doors behind him, eyes clouded. "It's not easy to win over a man like that."  
  


One of these days it all comes together  
One of those days that goes on forever  
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever  
What's it all about?   
  


"The Fuuchoin Style is derived from Universal Nature." It was evident that Kazuki, though not backing up from the fight, was reluctant to go on. Juubei felt the same, though maybe not for the same reasons. Or so he deludes himself into believing.  
  
"There is no escape. You can't escape, Juubei!"  
  
"There is no such thing as 'withdrawal' in the Kakei Ryu." He reached down for the needles of a different kind that he usually used. This way, it wouldn't be a betrayal. Not by much, at least. No, he couldn't lose his nerve now. He had to defeat Kazuki. What was necessary didn't have to be likable. He had to.  
  
"Black Needles ..."  
  
"I don't need to tell you that these Black Needles are different from the usual. This is a style of the Kakei Ryu that only few know about." _Why am I telling him this? He doesn't need to know!_  
  
"Poison?" Kazuki's eyes narrowed, and he dodged the attack he knew was aimed for his feet. "Poisoned needles are useless if you can't hit me." Suddenly, the black needles hurtled and were embedded deeply on his calves. He pulled it out, painfully, dropping them with a clang on the ground. Quivering, the needles returned to Juubei's open palm. "That's ..."  
  
"The Kakei Ryu stemmed from the use of needles for medicinal purposes, but the only similarity is that both strike channels in the body, to cure or to injure. And to use poison is a wrong way; it wouldn't be a special technique, then, would it?" He held the dark lodestone aloft. "As you see, Kazuki, these black needles are made from mineral stones dug up from the sacred stone beneath Mt. Fuji. And I control them by the means of this." The sphere glowed in his hand ominously.  
  
Kazuki finally understood the quality of the stone. He stared at the golden bells where he stored the strings; it responded to the magnet.  
  
"Balsam. Strike!"  
  
"Hurricane Slash!"  
  
That was when he noticed that Juubei's form was contorted in pain. _To control a magnet which can cause even a magnetic storm ... he can't do it! His vital organs will be damaged, or malfunction! He can die! One can't expect a human being to control such a powerful thing!_ "Juubei!" he shouted. "Why ... why are you doing this? Why are you serving Makubex ... even at the risk of losing your life?"  
  
"You know why, Kazuki!" he growled.  
  


It's about life, it's about fun  
It's over before it has begun  
It's about you, it's about me  
It's about everything in between and I say  
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue  
It's about time that I  
Make up my mind

  
  
It was the day every Kakei Ryu Heir waited for, or so he thought. Young Juubei hurried to climb up the long stairs leading to the colossal dwelling of the main branch of the Fuuchoin Clan. He would be meeting the Fuuchoin Heir today, the man he would protect, the reason of his extensive training. It was that fateful meeting that occupied his dreaming and waking hours, and it was finally about to happen.  
  
"Oi, Juubei, wait up!" His older sister called up at him. She was, technically, also the protector of the Fuuchoin Heir, all members of the Kakei Clan were, but not to the extent that Juubei was, and would be.  
  
"Ane-san, hayaku, hayaku! Haha-ue, I'll go on!" With an apologetic grin, young Juubei dashed off, almost tripping over his feet. _I can't wait to see him at last! Fuuchoin Kazuki!_  
  
"It's Juubei's first visit to the Fuuchoin Clan for the official salute. He's just excited. Saa, Sakura, iku yo." Their mother just smiled at her son's exuberance. And who wouldn't be excited? They took their time with the steps, and young Sakura just shook her head in good-natured exasperation.  
  
Meanwhile, Juubei, on his way to the main manor, got caught up in a song, literally. The skillfully rendered notes of the koto called to him, drawing him over the scenic ponds, and into a grove of bamboos. The song had led him towards an open room, an extension of the manor. As young Juubei felt inexorably compelled to go forward and listen, he saw the one playing the divine music.  
  
There were no words to explain what he felt for what he saw. It was a very pretty girl, eyes closed, short brown hair reaching down to her chin. Her long, deft fingers coaxed the music out of the strings -- now, why did that ring something in his mind? -- with practiced ease. She was sitting primly, playing the piece, without becoming aware of his presence, a lovely sight in her pink long-sleeved kimono. Dark blue eyes widened, and he felt himself flush deeply.  
  
Without any warning, a string shot out from the instrument, hurtling towards him. Instinctively, he summoned a single glowing needle, blocking the attack. The tendril wound around the needle, immobilizing him.  
  
"Who is there?" The girl asked sharply, eyes still closed, still sitting down. "Tell me who you are!"  
  
And he thought that she didn't notice him. "Kakei. Kakei Juubei."  
  
Suddenly, she opened her eyes, smiling. Rich dark brown met confused dark blue. "Ah, you must be the Kakei Ryu Heir they told me about! So you'll be my doctor from now on? Gomen nasai, I attacked you. I thought you were a stranger." She stood up, slipped on her slippers daintily, and walked up to him, a hand over her heart. "Yoroshiku, Juubei-kun! Kazuki desu!"  
  
"Eh? Are you telling me that the Fuuchoin Heir is actually a woman?" He blinked down at her in confusion.  
  
She shook her head. "No. I'm a man."  
  
Juubei blinked rapidly. "Eh?!"  
  
She -- make that he -- gestured at his apparel. "I have to wear a long-sleeved kimono and play the koto until I'm fifteen. It's part of my training to attain the Fuuchoin Ryu."  
  
Young Juubei blushed again, embarrassed at his mistake. "Eh? Sou? Anou ne, Kazuki-san ... gomen."  
  
"Iya, betsuni."  
  
They stared at each other and burst into childish giggles.  
  
Later that day, the two children were walking down the riverbank, still part of the territory of the Fuuchoin Clan. They had talked the morning away, only returning to the main house for a short luncheon, and then, to quietly spend the rest of the afternoon making best friends out of each other. It was the happiest day of Juubei's life, to date.  
  
"Why don't we rest first, Kazuki?" The formalities of -san, -kun, or even the endearment -chan was dropped, they have no need for them, they were closer than words could even begin to describe. "We've been walking all afternoon."  
  
"I would like that, Juubei." They settled down on the slightly damp grass, looking at the peaceful sight of the river, and the forest beyond. "Arigatou."  
  
Fresh yellow blossoms beckoned to Kazuki as they sat down. He reached to pluck it off, maybe to present it to his newly-found friend, but the prick of pain and sudden hot numbness made him draw back. He clucked his tongue at his mistake, blowing air to the swelling before attempting to take it in his mouth.  
  
His motions were not lost on his companion. "What happened, Kazuki? Daijobu desu ka?"  
  
"I got stung by a poisonous caterpillar," he admitted.  
  
"Let me see." And before Kazuki could protest, Juubei had pulled his sleeve back, baring his left arm. He got a needle and pierced the correct channel. "Be patient."  
  
Kazuki nodded, and watched as a wisp of purple smoke puffed out of existence, ejected by the red bump, which was gone after he blinked. "Oooh. The Kakei Ryu of Flying Needles must be something, ne?" He looked up at Juubei with an easy smile on his lips.  
  
Juubei struck a pose. "Of course! The Kakei Clan had always protected the Fuuchoin Clan for 500 years."  
  
Kazuki nodded thoughtfully. When he looked up, a telltale gasp hinted that he was unprepared at how close they were. He smiled cheerfully. "Arigatou, Juubei."  
  
Juubei smiled back, dark blue eyes lightening to a cerulean hue. "Don't worry, Kazuki. I'll protect you absolutely. It's the reason of my existence."  
  
Kazuki understood that Juubei meant his words exactly, and he was extremely grateful, not only because he was his loyal protector, but also for finding a friend in him. It was hard not to like him. "Ne, Juubei, you stick too much to the old ways!" he said teasingly, with a slight raise of the eyebrows.  
  
"Oi, there's nothing wrong with that, is there?" he pouted.  
  
They stared at each other, and simultaneously laughed, the unspoken and unarticulated bond that brought them together was mutually comprehensible, children though they were.  
  
A few years had passed, and Juubei could only watch the Fuuchoin manor burning to ashes. His protection, his promises; they were smoke, rising thickly up the soon-to-be-ruined building. He had failed in his duty, failed his ancestors, failed the Fuuchoins, failed his most important person, Kazuki.  
  
There was nothing else he could do but to take Kazuki to safety, to follow the orders of Kazuki's mother. They must flee to Mugenjou. Before anyone would notice that not all Fuuchoins were dead. Before something else could happen to the Fuuchoin Heir.  
  
"This way," Sakura nodded of to the dark part of the forest. She opened the channels of her chi, and made the escaping power surround her body, making it go in circles around her. It emitted a subdued light that only Juubei -- or any Kakei, for that matter -- could follow.  
  
Juubei nodded dumbly, and without further thought, grabbed the unmoving soot-covered wrist. That was when he realized that Kazuki was crying.  
  
At the sight of the tears, Juubei could not hold his own back. The magnitude of his failure caught up to him suddenly, like a punch to the guts. He had failed everyone.  
  
He must try his best to comfort Kazuki, though, in the meantime, even though he, too, needed comforting.  
  
_"Hayaku, Kazuki! You have to escape!"  
  
"Haha-ue, Haha-ue, I don't want to go alone!" The Fuuchoin Bells had been entrusted to him; he was the Fuuchoin Master, now, and in just a short time, everything was going to be ashes, literally. His family, his life. Lost.  
  
"You must escape, Kazuki!" His mother smiled at him, but her words were a command. "Our Clan must go on! Go!"  
  
"Dakedo ... Haha-ue ..." Tears flowed down his cheeks copiously. "Where shall I go?"  
  
His mother's eyes darkened, as though doing something she'd rather not. "Mugenjou."_  
  
"Haha-ue ..." Kazuki sobbed, looking back at the mass of burning timbers. Juubei could not afforded to look back; he concentrated on Sakura's trail, and finding the easiest path, and running. He held tighter to Kazuki's wrist.  
  
"Sumanai ... Sumanai, Kazuki," Juubei whispered, tears trailing behind him even as he ran. The feeling of guilt overwhelmed him. And there was nothing he could do. "The Kakei Clan didn't have enough power to protect you. I'm sorry ..."  
  
"Juubei ..." Kazuki didn't answer. He didn't have to.  
  
"Kitto ... kitto tsuyoku naru!" he vowed. He was too busy running to dash his tears away. Let them be the witness of his commitment. "So that I would be able to protect the most important things ..."  
  
He would die before he would break that promise.  
  
He didn't know that he would do so, willingly, knowingly, soon enough.  
  


Time is creeping behind me, surrounding around me  
Fading the words so desperately  
Now give me a reason that I can believe in  
Time is something you can't rewind   
  


"And you knew that our lives are controlled by the God of Mugenjou ... so you left?!" he spat bitterly.  
  
"Yes, Juubei," Kazuki admitted. "I knew about it ... I've always felt ignored here in Mugenjou, even if I achieve something, even if I succeed in something."  
  
It was finally happening. As he had predicted, Kazuki was trying to change his mind, to make the fight stop. He was trying to turn him around, to make believe his rationale. And Juubei, as he himself had foreseen, believed Kazuki. The Fuuchoin Master was right, he had always been right. The cause he had been fighting for had been doomed since the beginning. He had been played by Makubex, caught up in the endless, ruthless calculation. Because of his flawed ideals, he had almost killed Kazuki. The thought burned deep and true in his soul. He had almost killed Kazuki. His most important person. The man he had sworn to protect. The man he had failed not only once, but twice. Kazuki.  
  
But where could he go on from there? He knew that when he supported Makubex, there was no turning back. He made sure of that. Would he not be redeemed? That was the horror.  
  
"Spear Showers!"  
  
Several hundred tendrils whipped his whole body. Juubei dropped to one knee, breathing erratically. Shaken, he gripped the large magnet tighter, feeling the constricting pain on his innards. The battle must end soon.  
  
"Echo!" The spherical magnet glowed purple.  
  
"Juubei!" It hurt, but Kazuki managed to dodge the most fatal needles.  
  
_"Don't worry, Kazuki. I'll protect you absolutely. It's the reason of my existence."_ Down on his knees, Kazuki smiled wryly at the memory, gripping his left shoulder. "I can't go back to the past." He struggled to stand. "I want to save you, Juubei ..."  
  
Juubei knew that it had to be his last attack. Two more techniques with the magnet would damage him beyond repair, not quite leaving him dead, but would render him pitiful and mutilated; a hellish torture that would make him wish he had just let his lifeblood bleed out. That would have been more merciful.  
  
"Earth Spider!"  
  
Kazuki leaped. Curiously enough, Juubei heard the chiming bells loud and clear. Dark blue eyes narrowed as a multitude of strings materialized, binding him to place.  
  
"Spear Showers." It was felt as if thousands of spears pierced his body, and were drawn out immediately. He cried out in anguish; he sagged down, refusing to be supported by his feet.  
  
"You lost, Juubei."  
  
That was all. Juubei knew that Kazuki would not attack, would not kill him. Mercy at the hand of the man he betrayed.  
  
"Why don't you kill me, Kazuki?" he managed to get out, gasping for breath. He had overused the magnet, and it was taking its toll on his body. "You know it's unwise to leave an enemy alive after a battle."  
  
Kazuki's smile was tender and heartfelt. "You are still my best friend since childhood."  
  
Juubei smirked. He should have known. "And you haven't changed since then." He weighed the heavy sphere in his hand. He still had enough strength to do what must be done.  
  
Black needles pierced his back.  
  
Kazuki's eyes widened in shock. "Juubei!" His ran towards his friend, pulling out the black needles from where they had been embedded flesh. Kazuki knew, though, by Juubei's pallor, that the move was futile. He cradled the slack wounded body, resting his forehead against Juubei's for a moment before speaking.  
  
"Juubei!" Unaware of the tears trickling down his cheeks, Kazuki stared searchingly into the depths of the azure eyes. "Why, Juubei? Why did you have to do that?"  
  
"This is a good end for a man like me,"he whispered. He knew it wasn't right, but Kazuki looked so pretty when crying. "A stupid person ... who can't trust his best friend ... and even tried to kill him." So sweet to be held like that, by Kazuki. So divine to finally be free.  
  
"Juubei! Juubei!" His whole body was racked with sobs, and he just couldn't stop. "Juubei ..."  
  
"Don't ... cry ..." Juubei tried to raise an arm, and was able to hold a knuckle to catch a tear before his arm flopped down uselessly back at his side. "I'm not ... worth your tears ... Kazuki ..."  
  
Dark brown eyes looked at him in startled indignity, as if not sure whether his friend had been joking or not. With a chaste kiss on the forehead, Kazuki proceeded to carry Juubei to help. "Wait. I'm going to take you to a doctor." He shifted a little, setting the weight to where he could move the fastest.  
  
"Leave me here." Eyelashes fluttered half-mast. He was almost dead weight on his slighter friend, but Kazuki had the stubborn look on his face. "You still have other important things to do."  
  
"Nothing is more important to me right now but your life, Juubei." They have reached a cliff. "And ..." Kazuki closed his eyes, and they walked harmlessly across the room, not deluded by the virtual reality. "I know those two can set Makubex right. Those Get Backers." He smiled reassuringly at his friend. "So, forget about everything else, na, Juubei?" His voice mellowed. "Let me take care of you."  
  
He nodded obediently. If only this could last forever ...  
  


One of these days it all comes together  
One of those days that goes on forever  
Think I sound crazy? Maybe, whatever  
What's it all about?   
  


"Kazuki ... matte."  
  
Large brown eyes blinked down at him. They have reached the main chamber where the retrieval experts met a while ago. The six numbered doors were mockingly silent, menacingly seeing metal sentinels. The die caught Kazuki's eye. "I didn't realize you were awake, Juubei. Why? What's the matter?"  
  
Juubei just shook his head, though that motion made him dizzy. It took a while to realize that they were sitting on the floor, with his friend still supporting his body. Pathetic. It was several moments before he could reorient, and then began to speak. "There's something I need to know ..."  
  
"We have to get you to a doctor ..." he started saying, but Juubei cut him off.  
  
"Kazuki ..." It was an effort to keep his voice steady. "Is everything ... forgiven? Have you forgiven me?"  
  
"What's there to forgive, Juubei? You're not at fault." Kazuki chuckled softly, the bells tinkling as his hair swayed, but as the next words escaped his mouth, his face became a somber mask. "But how about you, Juubei? Have you forgiven me for abandoning you? For leaving without even saying goodbye?"  
  
Juubei nodded solemnly, eyes closed. "I never really understood why you would abandon me ... throw away my promises and yours ... just like that."  
  
"I just had to." Again, tears were pooling in the large brown eyes. Was it cruel to see such magnificence in sorrow? "If I had talked to you ... you might have convinced me to stay ... If I had seen you before I went ... I wouldn't have gone at all."  
  
"But I would have gone with you!" If that was really the reason, then he was worked up for nothing! His promise was not scorned ... and Kazuki would not lie, not for anything. If that was the case -- and it seemed to be so -- then he was the traitor, the betrayer. "If you would go ..."  
  
He trailed a smooth fingertip over the curve of Juubei's cheek. "Makubex wouldn't go, so your sister wouldn't go. You wouldn't go." His eyes narrowed. "And most probably, the God of Mugenjou wouldn't have allowed it. Don't trouble yourself with the past, Juubei. What matters is the present." Kazuki smiled the special one he only let Juubei see. "Don't you think?"  
  
He couldn't take it anymore. He opened his eyes and stared into the soulful chocolate brown eyes. He took a deep breath and braced himself for the confession. It was the moment of truth.  
  
"It would only be a matter of moments before I become blind, Kazuki."  
  
Silence answered him.  
  
Kazuki blinked. The bells chimed softly.  
  
"Juubei? What are you talking about ...?"  
  
"The black needles," he blurted out, steeling himself to look straight into Kazuki's eyes. He would sacrifice the feeling of comfort rather than make his friend think he was lying. "When they pierced my back ... the channels ..."  
  
"Don't." Kazuki shook his head, wisps of dark brown hair waved about. "Don't say it." His lower lip trembled with every exhalation. "Because if you say it ... it may come true," he finished in a small voice. "Please don't say it ... Juubei."  
  
"But it's true. It's a punishment from the heavens for betraying you." He smiled at the distressed face, kissing the tears, savoring the salty moisture on his tongue. The taste of compassion was sweet on his lips. "I deserve it, Kazuki. Weep not for me."  
  
"But ... but ... Juubei ..."  
  
The pain behind his eyes made him wince; he drew his breath hard. "Is all really forgiven?" he gasped. He continued to speak once he saw that Kazuki had nodded. "I have precious few minutes before it strikes me ... It would be a slow and torturous process ... but it was earned." An ironic smile touched his lips. Could he go through it? "If there's one thing I regret once it fully happens ..." He reached up, touching Kazuki's face tenderly with a knuckle. He leant in towards the caress. "I won't be able to see you smile again ..."  
  
"Haven't I just told you," he said, voice firmly reprimanding. "That you would not be spouting those foolishness, Juubei? You wound me if you still insist on this being deserved."  
  
"But it is!" Could Kazuki really mean that ...? But he had failed him. As a friend, as his protector ... he was the most important person in Juubei's life, and yet he had failed him. He truly deserved this.  
  
Sparkle of warm brown eyes. How utterly captivating. Now, the thought of losing his sight pained him emotionally, but he ought to have experienced much worse. He almost killed the love of his life.  
  
Kazuki tilted his head, lowering his chin, leaning ever so slowly toward Juubei's slightly parted lips. An inch, half, a centimeter, a hairbreadth, a breath, and he stopped.  
  
"I don't want to forget everything about the past." His lips brushed Juubei's with every word. "You are my best friend, Juubei. My best friend, and more besides ... if only you'd let me be ... once more. Please."  
  
To hear him beg ... Juubei wanted to cry, then realized that he was indeed crying. "Kazuki ..."  
  
Closing the distance, Kazuki fought the reflex to close his eyes at the sensation of finally kissing Juubei again. It had been such a long, long time. And it was for his best friend. If he had been correct in guessing, this was what Juubei wanted, but could not say.  
  
The kiss had to break, but not the contact. Both of them panted heavily, overcome with the exertion of the kiss, of the overwhelming emotions. Kazuki, drunken in the heady feeling and taste of his friend's lips again, was smiling.  
  
His eyes were glazed into dark cobalt pools of muted desire and insatiable fire. The first words out of Juubei's mouth were, "But I haven't even asked yet."  
  
Kazuki just had to laugh at that. His utter delight seemed more dulcet than the Fuuchoin bells in his hair. _You never had to, Juubei._ "We'll find a way through that, even if it takes forever." He ruffled the light brown hair affectionately. "Forever will be such a short time to spend with you, Juubei."  
  
Juubei found out that he had difficulty swallowing past the lump the size of a fist that had formed in his throat. Kazuki was singing the old songs without hesitation; he was inviting Juubei back in his life ... where he had never left at all. He understood the hidden message: he _is_ Kazuki's life. Finally, he was able to accept it, that Kazuki really wanted him; he always had, and always would. It was a comfort, to say the least.  
  
Juubei drew a single glowing needle, doing quick work with the correct nodes in Kazuki's body, then his own. He dropped the needle beside the die with a clatter.  
  
He felt the swift changes in his body. "The pain-relieving technique will lessen the pain of our injuries ... I didn't want to make it permanent ..." Brown tresses fluttered as Kazuki nodded, understanding. "At the peak of the process ..." He did not have to name it for his friend to figure out what he meant, "I would be unconscious." He smiled. "It would be so much easier that way and ..."  
  
Tears were flowing again, but this time, Juubei didn't mind. "I know, Juubei, I know ..." Kazuki placed a finger on his lips, and shifted so that they were comfortably supported by the wall. "Just ... just ..." he changed what he was about to say. "Just let me be with you, Juubei."  
  
Juubei nodded, and cupping Kazuki's face in his hands, kissed the willing lips thoroughly, soulfully. No more words needed to be said. They knew.  
  
And for that moment, it was enough. 

  
  
It's about life, it's about fun  
It's over before it has begun  
It's about you, it's about me  
It's about everything in between and I say  
I'm saying goodbye to you, I say hi to you with no clue  
It's about time that I  
Make up my mind   
  


Kazuki labored to drag Juubei's weight, crawling to the Pharmacist's in a snail-like pace. His friend was now fully unconscious and dead weight besides. Strength sapped, only the pain-relieving technique and the thought of getting themselves to safety pushed him on. The last vestiges of adrenaline had ceased, and blackness crept up to him.  
  
Tears flow unchecked down his eyes, and he scrubbed them away furiously. As of now, he still had a mission to finish, whatever he said to Juubei. He had to help his other friends. Juubei's condition could not yet be cured immediately, but he would find a way to reverse the process. Pressing a cheek against the warm chest, he heaved a sigh of relief when he heard the slow thumping of the heart. Still beating, still alive. He managed another step.  
  
Even the pain-relieving technique was wearing off. Juubei had told Kazuki that it would dissipate in a matter of minutes, after all, it was not a permanent thing, and he needed to allow his body the rest it needed. He raised his eyes. Still a few steps away.  
  
Forehead on the cool metal, Kazuki tried to still his breathing for a moment, before shifting Juubei's weight. He almost pitched forward when the door opened suddenly.  
  
"Kazuki!" It was Shidou. "Oi, daijoubu ka? Kazuki!"  
  
Shidou held him firmly by the shoulders. The fatigue finally kicked in; the combined effort of bringing Juubei there, his lack of strength, his previous injuries, and the battle, made him drop his friend's body. He was caught in Shidou's capable arms.  
  
"Boku wa daijobu desu ..." he said faintly. He started seeing double, but the slumped figure of Juubei, so near, was clear. "But Juubei ... Juubei is ..." He closed his eyes.  
  
And all was black.  
  


  
  
  
  
~~~Owatta na?~~~  
  
  
  


* * *

Author's notes:  
  
Curiously, yes, I still have a few things to say.  
  
Another fic is on the way, and it's titled, _Let Me Be With You_ (lifted that from Chobits. It's the opening song, and is obviously not mine.) It's an elaboration of what happened in the room 'with six doors that leads to the same room'. I think you know what that room is ... they meet there in Episode 17 [The Retrieval Team Assembles].  
Anyway ...  
Whahaha ... so what do you think about it? Yes, it's a total ripoff from the series, but after seeing how much juicy yaoi hints could be squeezed in 5 minutes, what's a fan to do? *g*  
Comments are drastically needed, and I'll have Kazuki-sama sift them through a tapestry of threads so that I won't have to waste my time on unconstructive flames. Sankyuu!  
*waves Juubei/Kazuki banner* 

* * *


	2. Japanese Glossary

Japanese Usage **Japanese Translations**  
That is, translation as how I used it, anyway. I'm not Japanese.  
  

    
    
    yaoi - male/male relationship
    gomen/gomen nasai - Sorry/I'm sorry
    Kazuki-sama, daisuki! - Master Kazuki, love you lots!
    minna-san - everyone (polite form)
    Sankyuu - thank you
    Raitei - Thunder Emperor (I think Lightning Emperor) fits better
    Ito no Kazuki - Literally "Kazuki of the Threads".
    Aah - Yes (of a sort)
    Mugenjou - Subtitles say "Infinity City". I think it's "Infinite Castle". (Which is why I use plain Mugenjou.)
    Kitto ... kitto tsuyoku naru. - Surely ... surely, I'll be strong.
    O-hisashiburi desu - It's been a long time
    chibi - small (meaning, super deformed)
    Uso/Uso da - That's a lie
    Sou? - Is that so?
    Matte - wait
    Saa - Hmmm ... (or something. It's adaptable.)
    Shi Ten - Four Kings (of Volts)
    Senketsu no Joker - Joker of Fresh Blood (Emishi's title)
    Ryu - Technique/Martial Arts (?!) style
    Shizuku - Drop/s
    Chigau - Wrong/You're wrong
    Eh - What?! (Rhygell's vernacular: What the hell?!)
    Sou na - Oh no
    Ane-san - older sister
    hayaku, hayaku! - hurry up, hurry up!
    Haha-ue - mother
    iku yo - Let's go
    koto - Japanese harp
    kimono - Japanese dress. The long-sleeved kind for women.
    Yoroshiku - Pleased to meet you/A greeting
    Iya, betsuni - No, it's nothing/Don't mind
    -san, -kun, -chan - honorifics
    Arigatou - Thank you
    Daijobu desu ka? - Are you okay?
    ne? - right?/isn't it? (adaptable)
    Dakedo - but
    Sumanai - sorry
    na - hey (adaptable)
    Oi, daijobu ka? - Hey, are you okay?
    Boku wa daijobu desu - I'm okay
    Owatta na - Is this finished?
    


End file.
